Creation Through Action Or Why Adam Savage Is Not Good For You.

I had a conversation with students in one of my classes the other day where we talked about the act of creation and getting stuck, something I've been writing a lot about lately. In complete disclosure, the entire class is designed to provide a foundation for creating when things go bad, when we get stuck. It's about focusing on the little steps needed to move, and apparently, I've been channeling the wise philosopher Kris Kringle and his illuminations on making a change, Put One Foot In Front Of The Other.

In the class we explore ways to keep creating and kickstarting our actions, we tackle some new techniques that intentionally don't always produce visually pleasing results, and we find ways to exploit the potential energy sometimes hidden in a given cinematic

image. I enjoy teaching this class, mostly because it is a good personal reminder that being creative is not simply thinking about being creative and certainly not about feeling creative because I watch someone else be creative. This is the trap I was warning students (and myself) about the other day. Sometimes that threshold between research and creation or inspiration and creation may get too big that we can't cross over. How often have I found myself on some social media platform, looking at the art and creations of others under the guise of research? An example that I shared with my students was watching Adam Savage on his YouTube channel Tested. So much of what he shares I identify with. His curiosity and technical knowhow, his problem solving and his willingness to share what he is doing are all wonderful things that I appreciate. I enjoy seeing him tackle problems, whether he's building some film related prop, organizing his shop or explaining a new tool. I've certainly walked away inspired and often receive truly helpful information that I can use. It's easy to watch someone like Mr. Savage and learn something. It's also easy to watch someone like him and be thoroughly entertained but assuming you are someone who is driven to create, the problem is being aware of when you are entertained to the point where you abdicate your role as a creator.

That's what this project is for me. It is a big fat thank you very much, but I think I'll make my own work moment. It is a refocus on those bigger personal projects that yes, do require research and are aided by inspiration but ultimately require my action - a lot of it, to not just think about being creative, but to actively engage in the process. This project is a proof-of-concept or maybe a better way to describe it on a purely personal level is -challenge thrown down and challenge accepted. I just happen to be the one doing the challenging and the one being challenged. Can a project like this be realized in a pandemic? Spoiler: The quick answer is yes, There have been many films and other creative projects already done and completed during the last year. Just not this one being completed by me. How much can I do myself? How dependent am I on others is the challenge and question.

Dependency is tricky because to be dependent is not necessarily a bad thing. As social creatures we thrive on interdependency, and just because one chooses to collaborate with others doesn't make them any less creative. There is no way that collaboration could ever be framed as a less-creative practice. By its very nature it is a more creative process because there are more sources of the creative energy being combined and used for something beyond a single creative source. So I would never denigrate the collaborative process and as I've said before I enjoy that process and would like to be part of it more. This is just not what this particular projects is about.

I've reached some milestones in this slower than expected action sequence, but it's time to share some updates. This past couple of months I've made real strides in the set construction for the film. Wall construction was completed, or nearly so, ceilings are roughed in and I've recently, temporarily added the floor (the first constructed element of the set) to get a sense of where I am and what needs to be done. There is still much to do, but I can take a moment and reflect on the progress. I can see where I've come from, an empty space next to my basement office and now see what will ultimately be a constructed environment for this story to take place.

Finishing the construction on the walls, floors and ceilings, adding the architectural and industrial details, finalizing the lighting inserts and painting are the next steps. I'll be honest and say I'm excited about this project, and I'm looking forward to seeing where the next bit of action takes it.

Dreams of Dreams Lost

I’ve just woken up from a dream of losing my car. I was with friends heading to our vehicles after an engagement, I think we had just been out to eat lunch. We were getting into different vehicles and for some reason I was thinking I was riding with another person but that car was full. I questioned myself and realized that no, I had actually driven myself to this meeting and started to wonder where my car was and search for it in the parking lot. Someone - a colleague, a friend, possibly a character foil or sidekick went looking with me. As we neared the edge of the parking lot I saw my car - a 1978 white Ford Granada - my real-life first car rolling away of its own accord, slowly at first but then it began to pick up speed.

At that point my unnamed sidekick turned to me then back to the car and said, “Oh you have one of those cars. You know they’re known for doing that,” as it careened over curbs and then launched itself into the flooded and raging river to the left of the lot. Running to the edge we stood there for a moment watching it float away, bobbing in the fast moving currents. This of course, was not agreeable to me, and I (we?) took off running after it. First running across a busy highway bridge that didn’t cross the river but ran parallel to it for some reason. Eventually the river wound its way into a more populated inner-city location. For some reason it seemed like Pittsburgh but I could be projecting. The river still raged but now was bordered on either side by high concrete walls topped with roads and small shops on either side. Detritus and other vehicles were now accumulating in the river with my white Granada.

We (I?) continued running along the river looking over the railings frantic to catch it. The river burst over the banks and into an area with side streets and houses. At this point there was no difference between the streets and the river other than the tops of stop signs differentiating the streets. People were caught in the water trying to simply get to higher ground, eventually a number of us were able to climb steps and get inside a house. Abandoned or condemned I’m not sure. It was dark, we were cold and exhausted, but safe in our domestic ark, or so we thought. There were two men (boys) who, looking out only for themselves decided to take my pocket knife - because that is always the key instrument one needs in a survival situation? And a woman’s pair of sneakers. Somewhat confused and a bit fearful, no one put up any resistance. Silently we waited to see if these ravens would return. Only in hindsight and using third person omniscient storytelling can I tell you that they were quickly swept away soon after stepping away from the house.

Eventually conversations started among those remaining. I mentioned the situation which caused me to arrive here, explaining the loss of my seemingly self aware vehicle’s intent on escape. The young woman who's shoes were taken expressed genuine empathy for me saying that it was an awful but odd thing to have happened. My response was something to the matter of “Well, actually this is the second time this has happened. The car I had before this did the same thing.” At this moment in the dream and only in the strangest depths of dream logic did I realize that I was actually dreaming this dream and that I had indeed had this dream before, but wanting to see how things played out I kept this to myself in the dream. Encouraged by her kindness, I asked the young woman to come out with me to find our way home, at which point she informed me that she was actually home but that she was ready to step outside to see what awaited. We opened the door to see the floods had resided, the sun dappled streets empty and drying and clean up of the carnage beginning. I never found my Granada but realized maybe I didn’t really need it anyway. At this point, the dream completed and resolved, I woke up, made coffee and began to write.

It’s a fun dream to consider and contemplate meaning but maybe a bit too fresh to really commit to any particular interpretation. I’m not sure I even want to comment on meaning other than to say that those things that we most want in this earthly life may not always be what we need. Making peace with this is a lifelong journey.

I also have to say that something similar actually happened in real life while in grad school. I was visiting my friend Anastasia and as we sat discussing life and school I looked up to see my truck rolling backwards in the parking lot. I probably have never run faster in my life trying to get to the truck which I had apparently left in neutral before it crashed into other parked cars. Luckily I had not locked the doors and was successful in opening the door, jumping into the moving vehicle and stopping it before any damage was done.

The work on the film came to a crashing stop when last semester started. I’ve since started working again on it, even if only for a bit before the spring semester starts. I’m continuing to rough in the architecture of the room. I’ve been working on a section that will be tiles and recently have begun to install the ceiling and areas over my house’s old duct work which does not figure in with the aesthetics of the film. I’m hoping that once all of the major construction is done the finishing will be able to go quickly. I continue to dream of a large barn to build sets in instead of my small basement. Hopefully the Granada is not my barn.

Balanced Progress

I've been making decent progress on the set, working on it as much as life will allow. Now that the fall semester has started, I've begun to play that balancing game again, trying to figure out how to make the creative teeter totter not feel so one sided. So far it's working. The decision to build the set in my basement has made this possible. I walk through it everyday to get to my office. The constant (encouraging or nagging I'm not sure, maybe both) visual reminder of the progress or lack there of is helpful. So far it's been a positive experience. There are still plenty of obstacles to work around, compromises to make but nothing that can't be overcome,

Each obstacle navigated, is a triumph, and compromises always have benefits and rewards. Yes, there are things that would make this easier, but this isn't about complaining or even making lists, this is about what I'm learning. It's about returning to lifelong goals. It's about holding myself accountable. It's about sharing the process I'm going through because sometimes sharing helps us learn more about ourselves and I can always use more insight.

I have to preface these next points because they could be construed as complaining, they aren't, merely pragmatic observations. One thing I already knew, but had painfully reinforced by this process. If at all possible tall ceilings are always better to have when building a set. This set isn't even eight feet tall. This is definitely one of those obstacle that needs to be creatively navigated. Case in point the main light wall can only be put in and taken out of its position one very specific way. I leaned this the hard way when I got it stuck at a 45 degree angle over my head. I was tempted to leave it but finally got it back into position.

When I was much younger, maybe even in high school, I read an interview with Ridley Scott about Alien. The only thing I recall from that article was that he talked about how the height of the sets' ceilings were ultimately dictated by budget constraints even though he told everyone that it was designed that way to help create a sense of claustrophobia. My budget probably would have allowed a slightly taller set if it wasn't for my 7'6" basement ceilings, but at least I haven't had to be constantly climbing on ladders. There's always another way of looking at things of course after this project I'll probably be be ready for some extra headroom.

The engineering of this set is made so much more challenging when everything is pushed all the way to the wall to squeak out every last inch of usable floor space. There is no accessible back side of the set, which is why I had to pull the light wall out mid build. This has required me to plan better and work on designs with a greater understanding of how to make it work vs simply making it look right, It's a good challenge.

I'm almost done with the main construction of the set. I've made good progress on the technical issues concerned with the wall of lights and have started to focus on some of the details including the angled transition between wall and ceiling which needs to be well designed as it will contain more detailed elements. I have some of the ceiling materials now and will be working on that the next few weeks. Then it's on to the fun part painting and finishing.

All of this under the watchful eye and motivation offered by Andrei Tarkovsky or maybe it's the eye of Sauron that motivates me.