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Dreams of Dreams Lost

I’ve just woken up from a dream of losing my car. I was with friends heading to our vehicles after an engagement, I think we had just been out to eat lunch. We were getting into different vehicles and for some reason I was thinking I was riding with another person but that car was full. I questioned myself and realized that no, I had actually driven myself to this meeting and started to wonder where my car was and search for it in the parking lot. Someone - a colleague, a friend, possibly a character foil or sidekick went looking with me. As we neared the edge of the parking lot I saw my car - a 1978 white Ford Granada - my real-life first car rolling away of its own accord, slowly at first but then it began to pick up speed.

At that point my unnamed sidekick turned to me then back to the car and said, “Oh you have one of those cars. You know they’re known for doing that,” as it careened over curbs and then launched itself into the flooded and raging river to the left of the lot. Running to the edge we stood there for a moment watching it float away, bobbing in the fast moving currents. This of course, was not agreeable to me, and I (we?) took off running after it. First running across a busy highway bridge that didn’t cross the river but ran parallel to it for some reason. Eventually the river wound its way into a more populated inner-city location. For some reason it seemed like Pittsburgh but I could be projecting. The river still raged but now was bordered on either side by high concrete walls topped with roads and small shops on either side. Detritus and other vehicles were now accumulating in the river with my white Granada.

We (I?) continued running along the river looking over the railings frantic to catch it. The river burst over the banks and into an area with side streets and houses. At this point there was no difference between the streets and the river other than the tops of stop signs differentiating the streets. People were caught in the water trying to simply get to higher ground, eventually a number of us were able to climb steps and get inside a house. Abandoned or condemned I’m not sure. It was dark, we were cold and exhausted, but safe in our domestic ark, or so we thought. There were two men (boys) who, looking out only for themselves decided to take my pocket knife - because that is always the key instrument one needs in a survival situation? And a woman’s pair of sneakers. Somewhat confused and a bit fearful, no one put up any resistance. Silently we waited to see if these ravens would return. Only in hindsight and using third person omniscient storytelling can I tell you that they were quickly swept away soon after stepping away from the house.

Eventually conversations started among those remaining. I mentioned the situation which caused me to arrive here, explaining the loss of my seemingly self aware vehicle’s intent on escape. The young woman who's shoes were taken expressed genuine empathy for me saying that it was an awful but odd thing to have happened. My response was something to the matter of “Well, actually this is the second time this has happened. The car I had before this did the same thing.” At this moment in the dream and only in the strangest depths of dream logic did I realize that I was actually dreaming this dream and that I had indeed had this dream before, but wanting to see how things played out I kept this to myself in the dream. Encouraged by her kindness, I asked the young woman to come out with me to find our way home, at which point she informed me that she was actually home but that she was ready to step outside to see what awaited. We opened the door to see the floods had resided, the sun dappled streets empty and drying and clean up of the carnage beginning. I never found my Granada but realized maybe I didn’t really need it anyway. At this point, the dream completed and resolved, I woke up, made coffee and began to write.

It’s a fun dream to consider and contemplate meaning but maybe a bit too fresh to really commit to any particular interpretation. I’m not sure I even want to comment on meaning other than to say that those things that we most want in this earthly life may not always be what we need. Making peace with this is a lifelong journey.

I also have to say that something similar actually happened in real life while in grad school. I was visiting my friend Anastasia and as we sat discussing life and school I looked up to see my truck rolling backwards in the parking lot. I probably have never run faster in my life trying to get to the truck which I had apparently left in neutral before it crashed into other parked cars. Luckily I had not locked the doors and was successful in opening the door, jumping into the moving vehicle and stopping it before any damage was done.

The work on the film came to a crashing stop when last semester started. I’ve since started working again on it, even if only for a bit before the spring semester starts. I’m continuing to rough in the architecture of the room. I’ve been working on a section that will be tiles and recently have begun to install the ceiling and areas over my house’s old duct work which does not figure in with the aesthetics of the film. I’m hoping that once all of the major construction is done the finishing will be able to go quickly. I continue to dream of a large barn to build sets in instead of my small basement. Hopefully the Granada is not my barn.


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